During fourteen years in the wedding photography business, we have witnessed many disastrous - yet, when we think about it later - really funny situations that have occurred in the course of a wedding day. Every bride worries about what might go wrong during her wedding, and rightly so, because anything from minor to major catastrophies can occur.
Photograph sessions, church ceremonies, and receptions all still hold surprises, even for wedding veterans such as ourselves. The following summaries will explain a few events that we have come across during these three phases of a wedding. Many were humorous; many were just small setbacks; but none totally destroyed a wedding.
Now, just sit back and pretend it is a quiet evening and you're sitting in your favorite chair watching "America's Funniest Home Videos." But imagine that this week the theme of the show is WEDDINGS.
THE HOUSE FORMALS
(Photographs):
Outdoor portraits are nice, but beware of provoking insect attacks. A bride, while posing on her front lawn for outdoor portraits, was viciously attacked when she stood in a nest of crawling, angry red ants.
While doing indoor formals, which aren't much safer, the bride suddenly ran shrieking from the room. The photographer finally discovered why. He had a helper on his shoulder - not an angel, but a very large cockroach.
In doing house formals, we often become part-time furniture movers. One day while moving a sofa to make room for shooting, we discovered one of dad's slippers, which his daughter said had been missing for over two years. How embarrassing for the mother!
We were doing outdoor shots on a bride's back lawn one autumn afternoon. Things were going well, until the videographer called for his assistant to bring him a fresh battery. In his haste to get the battery, the assistant ran head-long into a hanging bird house that was hidden from his sight by a tree limb. The poor guy suffered a mild concussion.
With formals finished, we had decided to wait for the late-arriving limo, which finally drove up with the hood half open and a large rope holding it partly closed. The hood had blown open on the bridge and was sprung in the "up" position. We took a picture of the bride standing next to it.
We have also had bridesmaids falling down stairs, dresses popping open at the seams, and girls spilling an assortment of beverages and food onto their dresses.
Shooting one afternoon in a downtown hotel, we finished the formals and ran down to the parking lot to go to the church - only to have the attendant tell us that our car's battery had gone dead, and it wouldn't hold a charge. I hurriedly explained to the attendant that we had only ten minutes to get to the church with all our equipment, or disaster would strike. He just grabbed a car from the lot (none of us knew whose it was) and got us there just as the bride was arriving.
CHURCH CEREMONIES:
At one of our well-rehearsed weddings, months of planning suddenly fell apart when the groom held up the ceremony for 45 minutes while he ran back to his apartment for the license and the rings, which he had forgotten.
We also had one of our grooms show up at the church in very formal white tie and tails - and a pair of white tennis shoes. He obviously marched to a different beat.
One ceremony was held up while the wedding party waited for the priest to show up. He finally arrived at the church...on his motorcycle.
It was time for the ring exchange and the priest asked for the rings. The best man fumbled around in each of several pockets in his coat and trousers, and finally came up with them. Just when he thought he was home free, they slipped from his grasp and hit the hard marble floor with a loud clang. The sound echoed through the church as the rings proceeded to bounce and roll over the altar.
Fathers beware! Walking the bride down the aisle can be stressful. One father, nervous about taking that long walk, successfully got his daughter to the front of the church, only to step on her train as she ascended the steps of the altar. All that could be heard was a loud ripping as the train detached from the bride's gown. Luckily, it was attached with velcro, and the bridesmaids were able to stick it back onto the dress.
It was an early morning ceremony. The church was in complete silence, when suddenly without warning one of the large flower arrangements just decided to fall off the pedestal onto the altar floor with a tremendous crash. The bride jumped two feet off the ground.
Pastors even blow it once in a while. One pastor pronounced a couple man and wife in the state of Oklahoma. The only problem was that the ceremony was taking place in another state.
Photographers are often caught off guard. At Catholic ceremonies we often set up in the middle of the aisle waiting for the bride and groom to kiss at the "sign of peace" - only to have them turn to each other and shake hands.
One bride passed out in church at the beginning of the nuptials and wasn't able to recover enough to stand steadily on her own. She had to sit in a rusty metal folding chair for the entire ceremony, removing any hope for a romantic atmosphere in her pictures.
Amateur photographers can be strange creatures. One was sighted rushing down the side aisle in church, finding an empty pew, and with a running start, hit the pew seated and slid all the way down to the middle aisle. There he popped up in the middle of the church and began shooting his pictures. Talk about distraction!
It was an outdoor ceremony on a hot summer afternoon, and everyone was making bets as to how many of the bridesmaids would pass out. Halfway into the ceremony the women were all still standing, but the groomsmen had begun passing out like flies. One after another they went down and had to be dragged off to the seats in the back. At the end of the ceremony, only one out of the five original groomsmen was left standing...and, of course, all the bridesmaids.
RECEPTIONS:
Bridal pictures at the reception are often delayed while everyone waits for the flowers to arrive from the church ceremony. One florist was particularly late. When she did arrive, she tripped on the carpet and dropped the two large arrangements she had been struggling with. The flowers went flying all over the floor.
There was only one wedding where we ever heard the D.J. being booed. The bridal party immediately stopped dancing when he began spinning tunes for their special dances. He was a fill-in for the regular D.J. and he had picked up the wrong music by mistake. All he had brought with him was country music...for a crowd who evidently hated country.
Bands make mistakes also. Once, a band announced the bride and groom onto the dance floor for their first dance, but he used the wrong names.
Three video people were operating a video camera on a tripod when along came a big, mean extension cord. As they were filming the bride and groom dancing, they followed all around them as the couple turned. Before long the extension cord was hopelessly wrapped around the tripod. The reception activities were held up while the three of them tried to untangle the fiasco.
While taking a breather after the bridal dances, we were casually observing the person running the punch bowl for the caterers. As he proceeded to pour more punch into the bowl, he accidentally hit the ladle with the large jug and it flipped up, drenching him in red champagne punch. This same gentleman was also spotted at another wedding struggling to open a bottle of orange juice for mixed drinks. The stubborn cap finally loosened, splashing him with most of the bottle's contents. He was so aggravated that he just went ahead serving, while dripping juice ran down his face.
It had been a very long day when we finally arrived at the reception hall after the ceremony. The only person there was the caterer. The bride had decided the day before the wedding to change halls, but neglected to mention it to the caterer and photographer.
One bride at a reception kept nagging her groom to go out and buy her a whopper hamburger, because she hated wedding reception food...even her own.
And finally, while doing the ribbon pulls on the cake, one of the girls' hair caught on fire from the candles on the table. Because of all the hairspray, her hair went up like a roman candle. Luckily, people who were standing close by smothered it out before she got hurt - except for her pride.
These are just a few instances of insanity that have taken place during some of the most well-planned and rehearsed weddings. At the time of the happenings they are the most stressful situations anyone could imagine. Later on, it's easier to look back and laugh at them.
They are - in retrospect - some of . . .
AMERICA'S FUNNIEST WEDDING VIDEOS!