Approximately 2,600 Catholic weddings take place in the Archdiocese of New
Orleans annually. If you plan to be one of those couples some time in the
coming year, you should begin by contacting a priest at least six months
in advance of your planned wedding date.
Deacon David W. Farinelli, Coordinator of Marriage Ministries at the Family Life Apostolate of the Archdiocese of New Orleans, explains why a six-month engagement period is required: "As Catholics, we believe that marriage is a sacred commitment made before God. Thus, the Church has the moral obligation to make certain the couple has been given the time and the opportunity for serious and prayerful reflection on their relationship and their readiness for marriage."
The couple will proceed through a four-phase preparation process,
guided along the way by the presiding clergy - the priest or deacon who
will officiate at their wedding. The four phases include:
At this first meeting the presiding clergy and the engaged couple will discuss general plans for the wedding, including any special circumstances that might affect the couple's marriage. The priest or deacon will also obtain the personal information and documentation necessary to begin the preparation process.
The couple will then take the FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study) instrument. This is a series of written questions that each partner responds to separately. "This is not a 'test'," says Deacon Farinelli. "Rather, it is an instrument that allows these two loving people to assess and to better their relationship by comparing attitudes, values, and backgrounds"
The results are later analyzed by computer and trained personnel.
At this meeting the presiding clergy and couple discuss the results of the FOCCUS instrument, which point out strengths and weaknesses of the couple's communication processes and their relationship in general. An assessment is then made of the couple's readiness for the sacrament of marriage.
Those couples who are ready to proceed are then informed of guidelines
for planning the liturgy and music for their ceremony. A popular booklet
often given to the engaged at this time is "Together for Life,"
which lists appropriate readings for the ceremony. If this booklet is not
available through your parish, you can call the Family Life Apostolate at
861-6243.
This is an instructional phase where the essential human and Christian aspects of marriage are explored through activities such as group instructions, written exercises, and private dialogue.
The couple will attend one of the five following marriage preparation
programs offered by the Archdiocese:
ENGAGED ENCOUNTER is a weekend program (Friday
evening through Sunday afternoon) directed by two married couples and a
priest or deacon. It is held at a retreat center located outside of New
Orleans. The cost of the weekend is $245 per couple, which includes both
lodging and meals. (See accompanying article below.) This program is booked
eight weeks in advance. It is necessary to contact the Family Life Apostolate
at 861-6243 to register for the weekend.
EVENINGS FOR THE ENGAGED is a series of six evening sessions (one per week)
conducted by a married couple in their home.
This is a parish-based program. Contact your parish to determine availability.
DAY FOR THE ENGAGED is an all-day session held on a Saturday or Sunday in
various locations around the city. The program is presented by a married
couple. The cost is $100 per couple. Be sure to note that the Days for the
Engaged are consistently fully booked at least two months in advance. It
is extremely important for couples to notify the Archdiocese of New Orleans
as soon as they have spoken with a priest and have decided with him that
the Day for the Engaged is the method they will use for preparation. Contact
the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243 to make reservations for Day for
the Engaged.
Engaged Encounter, Evenings for the Engaged, and Day for the Engaged
are all designed for couples marrying for the first time.
RE-MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM is designed for engaged couples for whom
one or both partners have been married before. Three evening sessions are
conducted by a married couple who themselves have been previously married.
The program is held at the married couple's home or at an Archdiocesan meeting
facility. The cost is $100 per couple. Contact the Family Life Apostolate
at 861-6243 to make reservations.
SPECIAL MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM is designed for couples with special
circumstances; for example, those already civilly married and now seeking
validation of their marriage in the Church, and couples with long-term relationships.
This program is offered four times a year in a one-day format. It is conducted
by a trained facilitator and is held at an Archdiocesan meeting facility.
The cost is $100 per couple. Contact the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243
to make reservations.
For further information on any of the above programs, contact the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243.
At this meeting the presiding clergy will discuss with the engaged
what they have learned at their marriage preparation program. The wedding
liturgy will be finalized and the wedding rehearsal planned.
In addition to the four-phase marriage preparation process described above,
Deacon Farinelli explains Archdiocesan policy on other matters about which
engaged couples often have questions:
AGE - "Since the commitment of marriage requires a substantial degree
of maturity," explains Deacon Farinelli, "permission for marriage
is rarely granted to anyone under the age of 18."
INTERFAITH MARRIAGES - Interfaith marriages are allowed with the understanding
that the Catholic party continue to live his or her faith in the Church
and promises to share the Catholic faith with any children that result from
the marriage.
PREVIOUSLY MARRIED - Each case is decided separately, depending on the circumstances
surrounding the first marriage. Couples in which one or both partners have
been divorced should contact a priest far in advance (one year and a half
to two years) to allow for the review process.
AVAILABLE WEDDING DATES - The Church allows weddings on any day except Sundays
and Holydays of Obligation, and a few other exceptions. Many parishes do
not permit weddings on Saturday evenings because they conflict with scheduled
vigil masses. Weddings during Lent are also discouraged.
CHURCH OF YOUR CHOICE - The Archdiocese strongly suggests that the couple
get married in the Bride's or Groom's own parish. However, if you wish to
get married in another church, other parish churches are available to you,
though arrangements must be made far in advance and with the permission
of both the home parish pastor and the chosen parish.
FEE - There is no standard fee for the use of the church in the couple's
home parish. Some churches do not charge, while others may have a nominal
assessment to help defray the cost of utilities, set-up, cleanup, etc. However,
no one is ever denied a Catholic wedding because they can't afford a fee.
In some cases the amount can be waived or reduced.
For weddings that take place outside the home parish, the fee is usually
higher. Consult the priest of that parish.
Preparing for a Catholic wedding is a lengthy and thorough process, but
the time of your engagement period is being used wisely. Soon enough, you
will be walking up that long aisle to the altar, prepared for a lifelong
commitment of love, joy and faithfulness.
For more information on marriage preparation guidelines for
a Catholic wedding or Engaged Encounter Weekends,
contact your parish priest, or the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243.
Thanks to Deacon David W. Farinelli, Coordinator of Marriage Ministries at the Family Life Apostolate of the Archdiocese of New Orleans for the information included in this article.
SOMETIMES CALLED the "Cadillac of all marriage preparation programs,"
Engaged Encounter is a weekend designed to strengthen and deepen the relationship
of any couple planning marriage. On the Encounter weekend the couple spends
time together learning the skills they will need to make their marriage
a long and happy one.
Concentrating on the most essential of all these skills - communication - the participants are encouraged to share true feelings with each other on all aspects of their upcoming marriage. With the guidance of two married couples and a priest, they explore ways to strengthen their relationship and ways to handle potential problems in their marriage by learning to communicate honestly, effectively, and lovingly.
Following a short presentation, each person reflects privately, usually through a writing exercise, on his or her feelings on the topic. Then each couple reunites to discuss their answers privately - always from the viewpoint of their own relationship. During the course of the weekend, the engaged might cover such topics as:
How I see myself,
How I see my spouse-to-be,
How our relationship is part of a larger community and God's family,
How to handle all the practical aspects of day-to-day married life: finances, careers, sex, children, etc.
Ample time is allowed for thought, conversation, and reflection in the pleasant, relaxed surroundings and in the company of other couples in love.
Engaged Encounter weekends are held at the Carmelite Spirituality Center in Lacombe, LA. It begins on a Friday evening at 7:30 and ends on a Sunday afternoon at 1:30. The cost of the weekend is $245 per couple, which includes both lodging and meals. This program is booked eight weeks in advance. It is necessary to contact the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243 to register for the weekend.
Engaged Encounter is one of several programs offered by the Family Life Apostolate of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. It is a nationwide program begun in 1965 as an outgrowth of the highly-regarded Marriage Encounter program. The first Engaged Encounter weekend in New Orleans was held in 1975. Now, with twelve weekends scheduled and filled each year, it has remained a very popular choice for couples in the New Orleans area.
Although Engaged Encounter is Catholic in origin and orientation, it is open to couples of all faiths. For Catholics it fulfills the Instruction Requirement of the Archdiocese of New Orleans for Marriage Preparation. Engaged couples are encouraged to participate in the Encounter or one of the other programs about three to four months before their planned wedding date, but they should inquire about available dates and registration as early as possible.
For the requirements about marriage preparation for Catholics, interested persons should consult with their parish priest at least six months in advance.
For more information on marriage preparation guidelines for a Catholic wedding or Engaged Encounter Weekends, contact your parish priest, or the Family Life Apostolate at 861-6243.
Thanks to Deacon David W. Farinelli, Coordinator of Marriage Ministries
at the Family Life Apostolate of the Archdiocese of New Orleans for the
information included in these articles.
Deacon Farinelli is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and available
to assist couples in pre-marital counseling in addition to Church requirements.
He can be reached at (504) 606-4342.
HOLY NAME OF MARY ..... 500 Eliza St. ..... 362-5511
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION ..... 4401 Seventh St., Marrero ..... 341-9516
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION (Jesuit Church) ..... 130 Baronne St. ..... 529-2840
MARY, QUEEN OF VIETNAM ..... 5069 Willowbrook Dr. ..... 254-5660
MATER DOLOROSA ..... 8128 Plum St. ..... 866-3669
OUR LADY OF GOOD COUNSEL ..... 1307 Louisiana Ave. ..... 891-1906
OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL HELP ..... 1908 Short St., Kenner ..... 464-0361
OUR LADY OF PROMPT SUCCOR ..... 146 Fourth St., Westwego ..... 341-9522
OUR LADY OF THE LAKE ..... 312 Lafitte St., Mandeville ..... (985) 626-5671
OUR LADY OF THE ROSARY ..... 1322 Moss St. ..... 488-2659
SACRED HEART OF JESUS ..... 139 South Lopez St. ..... 827-1481
ST. AGNES ..... 3310 Jefferson Hwy., Jefferson ..... 833-3366
ST. ALPHONSUS ..... 1516 Jackson Ave. ..... 522-6748
ST. ANN ..... 4920 Loveland St., Metairie ..... 455-7071
ST. ANTHONY ..... 924 Monroe, Gretna ..... 368-6161
ST. ANTHONY OF PADUA ..... 4640 Canal St. ..... 488-2651
ST. CATHERINE OF SIENA ..... 105 Bonnabel Blvd., Metairie ..... 835-5491
ST. CHARLES BORROMEO ..... 13396 River Road, Destrehan ..... (985) 764-6383
ST. CLEMENT OF ROME ..... 4317 Richland Ave., Metairie ..... 887-7821
ST. DOMINIC ..... 775 Harrison Ave. ..... 482-4157
ST. FRANCIS XAVIER ..... 448 Metairie Rd., Metairie ..... 834-0340
ST. JOAN OF ARC ..... 529 West 5th St., LaPlace ..... (985) 652-9100
ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST ..... 1139 Oretha Castle Haley Blvd. ..... 392-5290
ST. JOSEPH ..... 610 Sixth St., Gretna ..... 368-1313
ST. JOSEPH ..... 1802 Tulane Ave. ..... 522-3186
ST. LOUIS CATHEDRAL ..... 615 Pere Antoine Alley ..... 525-9585
ST. MARK ..... 3024 Charles Dr., Chalmette ..... 279-6073
ST. MARY MAGDALEN ..... 6425 West Metairie Ave., Metairie ..... 733-0922
ST. MAURICE ..... 605 St. Maurice Ave. ..... 279-5231
ST. PATRICK ..... 724 Camp St. ..... 525-4413
ST. PETER ..... 125 E. 19th St., Covington ..... (985) 892-2422
ST. RAPHAEL ..... 2212 Prentiss Ave. ..... 282-6494
ST. RITA ..... 2729 Lowerline St. ..... 866-3621
ST. RITA ..... 7100 Jefferson Hwy., Harahan ..... 737-2915
ST. STEPHEN ..... 1025 Napoleon Ave. ..... 899-1378